Hi, how are you?

I’m good thanks.

How’s the family and friends, you ask?

All good here. No change.

Yeah, maybe soon we can hang out.

But, not today.

Maybe later.

I promise, I’ll see you soon!

This is always how it goes.

I’m having a party.

Would you like to come?

Yeah! Sure!

No-wait!

I forgot. I can’t.

But, next time. For sure!

And nothing.

Why do you keep doing this to me?

To yourself?

What is it?!

You say you want more

To be loved, to be known

Yet, every time

Something comes up.

Maybe one day it will be different.

Maybe one day

When you get yourself

Together enough.

Maybe when you lose the weight,

Or learn to put on makeup the correct way.

Or, maybe when you learn the correct way to dance

You, know, in those times you do go out.

Or, perhaps when you develop the same love of sports

As everybody else.

Maybe.

It’s a nice thought.

But…

It’s pretty comfortable here,

Isn’t it?

You have all you need.

Sure, you’d like to explore.

But, we all know what that leads to.

You remember what happened last time,

Right?

He didn’t like you.

And she didn’t care.

And when you finally came around to showing up

They all just went off into their little groups.

And at you, they just stared.

Now, I know what you’re thinking…

Maybe one day I’ll let up…

Maybe one day it will change!

That’s a nice thought.

It really is,

But, how about this instead…

The constant back and forth

Is something I know you don’t want.

But,

It’s better than loss,

Than humiliation,

Than anything that’s out there.